Computex Sales Girl Soft Porn

While Taipei’s Computex 2006 is a great gathering of nerdlings, an epicenter of geekiness, and a whole universe dorkdom, it sure does have one amazing upside.

I’m not talking about tips on CPU over-clocking or the newest in gadget porn, I’m talking about the great Asian tradition of “sales girls.” Playing right to a man’s prime motivation, every Asian sales event, and quite a few Western ones, have beautiful women showing off the latest products or services.

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The Modern Taipei Office

Are you still sitting behind a desk, clock watching because your boss values desk time over productivity? Do you long to free yourself from florescent lights and stale office air? Then may I introduce you to the modern Taipei office: Chin-Chen Park

Here you can complete all your modern office tasks, and yet be surrounded by green trees, clean air, and even elderly practicing tai chi. Don’t believe me? Let me give you a task by task breakdown of how to perform while in a public park:

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Tonghua Night Market

You know you’re close to the market by the neon signs that line the streets around it, calling to the late-night shoppers like I. Then, when you turn a little corner, you’re in the night market.

There, squeezed down a long, narrow alley, is an Asian market – the kind you’ll find from Beijing to Bangkok, where you can snack on tasty foods while you shop for all your daily needs.

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A Carnegies Kinda Night

Also, TB likes it here, at Carnegies Bar, and doesn’t want to leave. I can understand. There are drunken women dancing on the bar top, he knows all the staff, and once I tell the bartender I’m drinking on TB’s tab, the drinks get stronger, and service is quicker.

Still Carnegies Taipei is no Hungry Duck. The girls might be drunk, but they are still Asian and therefore relatively shy and demure. As the guy never thought to be either, I was bored with the crowd and waved to TB as I headed out.

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How I Survive 13 Hour Flights

As I look out the window of this EVA Airlines flight from LAX to TPE (that’s Los Angles and Taipei for those not down with FlyerTalk) and I notice that we are racing across the Pacific faster than the sun – the sun is slowly setting in the east as we get farther ahead of it – I feel compelled to share how I survive my globetrotting flights.

First and foremost is acceptance of economy class travel. The flight is going to be long, it’s going to be boring, the food will be bad, the smell worse, and you will be cramped in a tiny seat next to an armrest hog or incessant talker, and in front of a hyper seat-kicking kid.

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