I’m Scared of Nigerian Scooter Drivers

Do you want to get crazy? I mean really insane? Living life on the edge, with glory or death a millisecond apart? Then forget hang gliding, BASE jumping, or any other “extreme” sport you can think of. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the death-defying act of riding a scooter in Nigeria.

And this act of utter bravery stupidity has nothing to do with the cheap-ass Chinese scooters that the Nigerians buy by the crate, no the risk comes with the suicidal Nigerian drivers themselves who have no sense of road rules, basic safety, or even common sense.

Let’s just take a look at some scooter fools in Kafanchan:

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Abuja from the Ogun State House

When you are a foreigner visiting Nigeria, sometimes you have opportunities afforded to you that are special. Like say a wandering across the top of the Ogun State House in Abuja, Nigeria.

When you find yourself on the top of a building in a nation’s capitol, there is only one thing to do. Make a video! But not just any video, a pure tourist video for those that you love who cannot share in the amazing experience that worldwide travel affords you.

So when I found myself in that situation, on the top floor of the Ogun State House in Abuja, I made my smoking hot pregnant wife an overview of Abuja:

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Reinhard Bonnke’s Religious Chaos in Kafanchan

Nigeria is of two religions, mostly. In the south, its very Christian while in the north is mostly Muslim. This historical split represents the original foreign trading partners of each region – Europe for the southern coasts and the Middle East for the northern interior.

While there is some grumbling that the country should be split in two or that the poor north takes too much largess from the rich south, in general, Nigerians of all faiths get along like an old married couple. Well, if not without nitpicking and an occasional joke or tiff.

Then into this mix comes religious interlopers like Reinhard Bonnke.

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Busted by Bad Nigerian Beer

When I took the first sip of that second Star Beer, it didn’t taste right. I took a second sip, and it still had an off taste. Putting that bottle aside, I went for the third bottle instead. It too tasted funny, so I figured that must be how Star Beer tastes.

Wow! Was I wrong on that idea.

I really should have followed my instincts that night, and skipped the third beer too. I don’t remember if the fourth beer was also bad, but the next morning, my body sure knew. My pre-run morning tea came back up as fast I drank it down. Unable to stand up afterwards, I gave up on the morning run idea.

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My Nigerian Mission: Beer Can Chicken

Over the last year, I’ve perfect my beer can chicken grilling technique. That would be the production of succulent, moist, and tasty whole chicken, cooked on a barbecue grill, using lemon marinade and a half-can of beer. I am now in Nigeria and on a mission to spread the word of this culinary delicacy to the land of boot-leather tough over-cooked chicken.

First off, beer can chicken is a surprisingly simple yet effective way to produce the most delicious chicken you’ve ever tasted. You’ll need four very basic ingredients. Once you have all these ingredients lined up, the execution of beer can chicken is crazy simple.

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