Gimme da Damn Cake!

I haven’t always been this sappy. When I was living in the States, with
all the Hallmark Holiday pressure, I would rebel by purposely skipping the
holiday festivities. This Quixotic plan almost cost me a girlfriend one
Valentines Day when she presented my with a hand-decorated keepsake-filled
box and all I had was a last second slap-together card. I learned my
lesson then, as she was colder to me than the Minnesota winter we were
spending a week in for her friend’s wedding.

That’s why, on Wednesday night, I was searching like mad for a cool
anniversary gift for Jingmei. Walking through the local supermarket, I saw
my answer: a cake! I pointed to the one I wanted, paid for it, and walked
out of the cake section with my prize in my hand. Then I though about
champagne to go with the cake. I gave the box back to the cake ladies for
a minute and went in search of the spirits.

When I returned five minutes later, they handed me a different cake.
Looking inside the new box, I noticed this cake wasn’t the romantic one I
picked out, but a cake from Chinese New Years. Showing them the
difference, I motioned for my original choice. This began a whole hand
signal & pictogram exchange, since neither of us spoke a common language, till finally, mad as hell, I left with my money and no cake.

I still have no clue why they wanted to switch cakes on me. The
boss-lady was the one helping me, so I don’t think it was a forgotten
reservation. The cake was edible, not one of the Styrofoam display models,
and they’d already given it to me once, so it musta been okay. I can only
presume they wanted to pass off an older cake on the foreigner, or there
was some massive misunderstanding that I totally missed out on.

Anyway, leaving the store with my bottle of champagne clenched in my
fist like the China-bashing club I was wishing it were, I headed home in a cloud
of curses and confusion. Luckily for me, I cooled down enough to notice
another cake store near our apartment. Stepping in, I checked out the
selection, and was pleasantly surprised with a model I though would be
perfect.

Watching the chief prepare the cake from scratch, I was amazed at the
industry the crew presented. With four people moving quick, my cake was
taking shape faster than I could understand. Soon, there I was, with my $8
heart-shaped cake pronouncing my love for Jingmei in English and Chinese.

Needless to say, she was happily surprised with my gift, and I didn’t
trouble her with the painful details of my adventure in finding it, but I did trouble her as she ate a piece of the cake. Well, that is
if you could call the massive cake & frosting food fight we subjected
three rooms, all our clothes, and most of our bodies to, a trouble. The
neighbors probably thought she was being attacked by more than a
cake-wielding boyfriend though, by Jingmei’s screams and my maniacal
laughter! Muuhhahahaha!