Don’t Mess with the Republicans
Cuz some of them are too cute for their own good
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Editors Note: My friend Emily, while a lovely woman, has gone to the Dark Side this election and is campaigning for Bush. Not one to hate the player, but hate the game, I’m posting her missives from the New Hampshire campaign trail. Emily, I wish ya luck, yet I hope you fail.
Wayan Don’t mess with the Republicans This story is old news now, but still funny. I’ve had very limited internet access and I wanted the pictures to go with it which I’ve been having trouble attaching so here, better late than never. I still can’t believe this actually happened. Some of you know that I was given a stand up poster of George W. Bush as a recruiting tool as were the other field reps. Some people have had theirs stolen, destroyed, etc. On Thursday I had my own incident. I recruited at liberal Keene State University, nestled nicely in New Hampshire right by Vermont and Massachusetts. I had a great day of recruiting and hit up the block party at dinner. I was packing up and talking with a new Campus Recruiter and this kid kept walking around by me, a clean cut kid, and I thought he might be interested in joining, and just too shy to really do it. He walked by me for a third time, this time behind me and grabs my Bush poster. I grab him by his black shirt but he gets away and runs off at a sprint. I run after him in flip-flops, eventually ditching them, as I chased him at least 3 blocks and off campus. I get to the main street but now I see someone in a red shirt running across the street, actually making it easier for me to see red from a distance. I trail behind him and see him ducking in and out between houses. I figure if he’s walking down the street with George in his possession all a cop has to do is drive by and catch him, so I call the police. I’m on the phone with them out of breath trying to explain that someone stole my poster (pretty pathetic), I can see him and I’m right behind him. Now he figures at four blocks off campus he’s safe, so he’s just being stupid now. I used some bushes to hide myself, caught up to him and surprised him. I told him to give it to me RIGHT NOW! He said it was just a joke, I said no it’s stealing! Still on the phone with the police, I grab the kid by the wrist and tell them I have him. He tries to run so I grab him by the shirt again, he eventually got away, but George was saved. He’s all bent but he’ll be there to recruit again. I had to walk back and find my sandals, get my bag and everything I left laying in the middle of campus, but luckily the kid I was talking to stayed there to watch it. I came back and he asked what happened all I had to say was ‘Don’t mess with the Republicans.’ An officer did show up and there was really nothing he could do, but he was impressed that I chased the kid that far and asked me if I wanted a job. I showed him this was no ordinary poster, it was the President and these kids need to learn not to mess with other people’s stuff. I gave him a bumper sticker in exchange for showing up. I went back to campus and kids were asking me what happened. One kid said he had a radio show and he was going to mention it, I said go ahead, just make you mention that he was chased down and caught by a girl. Hopefully it will be a lesson to these kids that they have competition on their campus and we don’t back down without a fight! Luckily I didn’t cut my feet, one of my fingers was a little swollen but the only thing bruised is that kid’s ego. Another funny story from the campaign trail…….. John Kerry came into town last night. 10 College Republicans, 200 waffles, 400 flyers, 20 posters, and 3000 heated Kerry supporters later I’m sending you these pictures. We showed up just when people started arriving and freaked out the Kerry people, who They were running around crazy when they realized that we were handing out menus and real waffles [as in Kerry waffles on issues, but some of you know it better as flip-flopping] to Kerry supporters. We even had a person dressed in a waffle costume. But within time they had 30 loud and obnoxious volunteers to hold signs such as ‘Help is on the way, Kerry Edwards’ and of course a mega phone to project their creative cheers. Eventually they were cheering to each other because we had moved over to get the incoming stream of folks. When they ran out of parking they made everyone turn around up ahead, which to me sounded like a “flip-flop” so after getting the people trying to park with a ‘just go up here and turn around’, ‘do a flip-flop up ahead’, they had to have people park further down. It was great. My ‘Great debater, poor commander’ sign really ticked people off. The nice steel worker for Kerry in photo was nice enough to come back with the mega phone, and shout something not so nice in my face. I almost put my hands around the guy’s throat, but instead I bit my lip, it still hurts. But I got an apology from the Kerry people because I recommended they not let the mega phone get into the hands of drunken event go-ers in the future. And as you may notice in photos that meeting John Kerry was not the highlight of my evening. For those of you Democrats out there, who are going to rip on me for my antics, hold off because the shoe was just on the other foot. I’ve had to listen to them at every Bush event I’ve gone to. One really lovely lady grabbed a sign, ripped it up, and claimed it was free speech. But hey this is America, and the beauty is that at the end of the day we can all sleep easy because we’re not out there killing each other over our differences. This is the high of the political campaign and it feels great. Till my next adventure, enjoy, and I will be enjoying leftover Eggos. Emily |
