Coughing and Choking in Kaduna
Gonna kill all of us
When I travel, I like to start my day with a morning run. Not only does this let me sightsee at speed, I enjoy watching different cities wake up while I plan out my schedule for the day. I usually go for a 5 kilometer run, wandering where I please to be guided home by my Garmin Forerunner 205.
This morning, in Kaduna, I was almost guided to my grave thanks to the many suicidal scooters in Nigeria. But not how you might expect. I was never in danger of being hit, or even side-swiped by a scooter.
No, I was brought to my knees in a fit of couching and hacking by the clouds of scooter exhaust that filled the air and my lungs with toxic blue carbon monoxide.
Read MoreI’m Scared of Nigerian Scooter Drivers
Nigerian death on two wheels
Do you want to get crazy? I mean really insane? Living life on the edge, with glory or death a millisecond apart? Then forget hang gliding, BASE jumping, or any other “extreme” sport you can think of. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the death-defying act of riding a scooter in Nigeria.
And this act of utter bravery stupidity has nothing to do with the cheap-ass Chinese scooters that the Nigerians buy by the crate, no the risk comes with the suicidal Nigerian drivers themselves who have no sense of road rules, basic safety, or even common sense.
Let’s just take a look at some scooter fools in Kafanchan:
Read MoreAbuja from the Ogun State House
The pyramids of Abuja, Nigeria
When you are a foreigner visiting Nigeria, sometimes you have opportunities afforded to you that are special. Like say a wandering across the top of the Ogun State House in Abuja, Nigeria.
When you find yourself on the top of a building in a nation’s capitol, there is only one thing to do. Make a video! But not just any video, a pure tourist video for those that you love who cannot share in the amazing experience that worldwide travel affords you.
So when I found myself in that situation, on the top floor of the Ogun State House in Abuja, I made my smoking hot pregnant wife an overview of Abuja:
Read MoreReinhard Bonnke’s Religious Chaos in Kafanchan
Muslims are lovers not fighters
Nigeria is of two religions, mostly. In the south, its very Christian while in the north is mostly Muslim. This historical split represents the original foreign trading partners of each region – Europe for the southern coasts and the Middle East for the northern interior.
While there is some grumbling that the country should be split in two or that the poor north takes too much largess from the rich south, in general, Nigerians of all faiths get along like an old married couple. Well, if not without nitpicking and an occasional joke or tiff.
Then into this mix comes religious interlopers like Reinhard Bonnke.
Read MoreBusted by Bad Nigerian Beer
I need Power Herbal now!
When I took the first sip of that second Star Beer, it didn’t taste right. I took a second sip, and it still had an off taste. Putting that bottle aside, I went for the third bottle instead. It too tasted funny, so I figured that must be how Star Beer tastes.
Wow! Was I wrong on that idea.
I really should have followed my instincts that night, and skipped the third beer too. I don’t remember if the fourth beer was also bad, but the next morning, my body sure knew. My pre-run morning tea came back up as fast I drank it down. Unable to stand up afterwards, I gave up on the morning run idea.
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