Inauguration Party Crashing

It’s January 20, 2005, and we are celebrating the coronation, oops, I mean inauguration of another four years of President George W. Bush. I couldn’t be more unhappy or under whelmed with our 43rd President and I know I am not alone.

Read More

I’m in Glamour Magazine!

Why Men Do What They Do In Bed? Squeezing your breasts like Play-Doh. Going at it jackhammer-style. What’s up with that stuff, anyway? The most mysterious male sex habits, explained. By Lynn Harris, Senior Contributing Editor, Glamour Magazine – February 2005. I once dated a guy who was obsessed with having a threesome. He made a list of candidates, scouted locations, called me on my cell to run ideas by me – he had the event planned from beginning to end like a Martha Stewart wedding.

Read More

Mouse in the House

Yes, you little brown mouse. Why do you sit there next to me, on the couch back, looking at me so? Do you want me to change the channel? Tired of this movie, eh? Or maybe you’re done reading this week’s Savage Love article in the Washington City Paper. Do you want me to turn the page? How about some cheese? I’ve heard mice like cheese.

Read More

A Good Idea: Car-Free DC

I recently gave up “Wayan’s Lounge”, my Joe-cool Honda Civic Coupe to my mom. Why? Read on! – DC’s Driving Guide – So you’ve decided to take a trip to your nation’s capital. Well here’s a few things you should know that will hopefully help you prepare for your trip. The DC road grid was laid out by a Frenchman, which explains why locals hate the French, and also explains much about US Foreign Policy.

Read More

High School Prom Payback

It’s my senior year of high school. We’re talking 1989-1990 here, and I am trying to make my big move. I am attempting what few dare and even less succeed in doing. I wanna move up from the dorks to the cool kids. No need to try and make that move in the lunch room, we all go off-campus to eat, but there are specific times to make the move in school.

Read More