You Try to Suntan in Beijing!

Too many shades of ass-white in Asia if you ask me. In a shirt on a sunny day Jingsong drinks in the shade I’d rather tan in Thailand. Today, in one of the rare, smog-free days of a Beijing spring, I am outside and semi-nude. No, its not an attempt…

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With Pliers and a Foot on My Forehead

I love foreigner privileges in China, especially in healthcare. He no like hospital too Not today, Mr. Candyman Too much ice cream & fruit At least my smile is still there There I was, lying naked in bed as I stared at the ceiling lost in thought. It was morning…

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He Needs Meat

I want a T-bone steak, and make it rare! No more rat meat on a stick! Mongolians ate horses too! I’m not happy with noodles! Once upon a time, long, long ago, in land far, far away, there was a vegetarian. A man who refrained from all meat, poultry, pork,…

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Russians Love Yabaolu

Need a vodka break in China? Head to YabaoLu! Bargaining in Russian too! Bicycle or truck delivery The first time I heard about the YabaoLu section of Beijing, I was still in Russia. It was on a train from Novosibirsk to Krasnoyarsk, chatting with a shuttle trader>, who would travel…

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Nothing Like a Good Haircut

Smile as they give that intense scalp massage before your Chinese haircut Getting the scalp scrub This is the swank street-cut And the low-budget option Today it was time. Time for me to take my shaggy head in for my monthly haircut. Actually, I’ve had more fun in the last…

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