The English Invasion

If I hear “bollocks” one more time!

Proof that I work in an English company
What does ‘whilst’ mean?

They are everywhere, like a blight on the land, the English! You
would think that Moscow would keep them away, being so far from the sea.
but they are here in droves! Ok, there are some similarities, tea,
bad weather, grumpy people with bad teeth, no style, etc. Ya can’t
ride the metro once around Moscow without hearing that English accent soiling
what would be a beautiful language.

I guess they do not soil the American language, for they speak their
own tongue, separate from ours. I have English bosses, and too many
English co-workers, who seem to speak in a funky language all their own.
One guy, Scottish I think, I can understand his Russia better than
his English.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have nuttin against the English per
se, just that they keep leaving the rock they live on and trying to teach
the world to speak their weird tongue. The British Embassy here sponsors
all the English language programs in Russia, the American Embassy goes
after businesses. Those guys in Congress should wake up and see who
is really flying the Black Helicopters they rant about, its the English!

Now I am gonna stop typing on this thing and go get me some of them
English people. Ain’t no English gonna be spoken ’round here!